This deployment has taught me a lot. About myself and about our relationship. First of I have realized that I don't need him here to survive. Obviously that could be good and that could be bad. I have always been independent but defendant on him. He is the only one that can always relied on and know that he will be there. Well it's hard to do when he is across the world. The bad thing about this whole deal is that I have become so independent that I am worried about what happens when he comes home.
I have realized one of probably the best things that could happen in a relationship. We hate being apart, though we have been doing it for the past two years. When he's not deployed or in a situation that he can't get out of, we usually last at least a month before we are eager to see each other. Of course with him being in Iraq/Afghanistan he can't come home. We have been apart for three months and its obviously killing us, but we are making it through. I think that is honestly the true test of love, not when they are here but when they are gone and despite the distance you are still madly in love. But of course, I would still get on the next plane to Afghanistan if I was able to.
You never know how much you need your friends once your significant other is gone. The day he left I was miserable. That entire week I just wanted to go to bed and stay there until he comes home. I figured my so call friends would notice this and take me in and show some support. Nothing. Well I can't say that really, there are the few that do help me through and obviously my Navy girls. But the ones that I figured would be here no matter what, showed me who they really are. Then again on the flip side there are the ones that stepped up when I didn't expect them to. These are the ones that I haven't really allowed myself to get close to in fear that they wouldn't stick around. I mean it's such a new friendship they still dance around the subject and don't want to say or ask anything that could either make me cry or make me angry. I guess it is these few people that have helped me get through.
Man, I really sound like a depressing person. lol. Honestly though, I am alive and kicking. I can't wait until he comes home but I am proud of what he is doing over there.
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Reading this made me think about how it was for me the last two deployments. You do get very independant and it is hard to re adjust when he comes home..it is even harder when u have kids..but the good thing is now u know yall can go through anything and survive it..ur relationship will be stronger than anything...when dealing with deployments i noticed that the first 2 months are hard and then the middle is okay then next thing u know its almost time to see him again...when u do see him its like the whole world has been lifted off your shoulders...i cant wait to see the pics of his return..
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